Wednesday, July 21, 2010

REALLY ?!? What Next!

A storm is a brewing...the story of our weather EVERY day the last few days. I'm so sick of wet! Rain! Our drainage ponds are FULL FULL. Ugh~ NO MORE rain please!
But the clouds are just amazing to watch ~
As with with weather ~ a storm is brewing again with......ME. UGH~ I'm so sick of illness! I try NOT to ask "what next" as I know (all too well) there could be that something around the corner, BUT come on how many corners am I going to come across. I've had my fair share, that's for sure ~ I'm trying to stay up beat and shrug it off...but there comes a time when you just want to know "What the hell did I do? Was it a sick joke to have me on this earth? Do you just want me to crack?" You can only pick yourself up soooooooooo many times and then you start to wonder if you should just stay down. I'm blogging about it because I blog about everything and I'm hoping (as it has before) I'll feel better afterwards. I've blogged about the thyroid issues that I've been having before........the follow up blood work that I had before Danny's surgery still had shown my TSH level and a few others low. The ultrasound I had, had a nodule show up on the left side of my thyroid. I called my primary doc when Danny was in the hospital to ask "what next". I was told they still just wanted to watch it, come back in 3 months. Well I've been watching it for a year now and now I have a I asked to be referred to a specialist. Yesterday I saw an endocrine doc. After he got ALL and the proper information (frustrating) we went through everything with a fin tooth comb. He was a very educated and compassionate doc, he even called me (personally) two time yesterday afternoon to ask me some more questions :) We went through all my labs and images from the last year and he found not only a nodule on the left but "something" on the right also. He looked at my head MRI's and found "something" on my pituitary gland, I've had issues with my pituitary for MANY years. Now I will be getting more images of both....Come to find out the thyroid and pituitary work together ~ in the scheme of things. So this morning bright n early (before 8am) I had to return to have more blood work done to check the functions of both the thyroid n the pituitary. The doctor had already called me (personally) a few hours after the test and even though they are low he thinks we can still watch them..... BUT ..... if the biopsy I go to tomorrow shows what he thinks then all bets are off. With the nodule on the left side he is disturbed by the shape and that it has calcium deposits in it. So he thinks it "could be" cancer. REALLY?!? If it is cancer it can be removed and treated very easily. So it's not that I'm necessarily scared (don't get me wrong no one likes that word) I'm just frustrated that it's ALWAYS something. I mean ..... WHAT NEXT????????? Ok I asked it, so knock it off already! I have enough on my plate, I'm FULL, OVERFLOWING even!!
I will keep you updated on everything that goes on. I have to go in next week for nuclear medicine imaging, and more MRI's. I have to be at the hospital at noon tomorrow and it will take alil over an hour for the biopsy and the endocrine doc called me to let me know he will be doing the biopsy tomorrow too. WOW! I'm not all too impressed to fast for 4 hours before (ugh no morning coffee, well I'll have to do coffee bongs before 8am LOL) and I'm definitely too impressed to have a needle stuck in my throat. YIKES!
Danny's been alil out of sorts since he's been home. I'm kinda bummed about it, as he's been quite fuzzy. We're trying to figure out where and why. He's so complicated that it could be a number of things. I'd give ANY thing if he could just point so I knew where to start. It could be pain, lord knows he's entitled..but he was so good the first week it's not top on my priority list. It could be cramping from his tummy starting to move and wake up. It could be his tummy from trying to feed him and it disagreeing or he could just feel hungry because he's getting his nutrition via TPN still. UGH!!! On the brighter side he has had BM's both yesterday and today all by himself WITHOUT enema's. CODE BROWN ~ Woot woot! We have bowel sounds! The process has begun, phew! Now to keep it up, Danny!!
Here he is 1 week post op!

All the bruises have popped up, poor thing! BUT it looks worse then he is acting about it. I'm so proud of him :)

If looks could kill........boy was he upset with us. This was after having to take the tape off for the second time because he solid the wound dressing AFTER we JUST changed them. Sorry buddy but it has to be clean!

This has been the face we've had to look at the last couple of days. He's just miserable! He doesn't like any position, sigh. Just breaks my heart to see him like this. He's been so upset you can hear him....he's been pushing the air right past the nose and up to his vocal cords. I ALWAYS LOVE to hear his voice, but not like this :(

The garden is growing like a weed (not to mention growing weeds, LOL). It's so cool to watch it grow from the seed to the produce. I wasn't sure how we'd do our first year at gardening, BUT we've done pretty good :)

Holy Corn!!

Fresh produce right out of the doesn't get any better then that :)

Thanks for stopping in to check on us....sorry it was such a downer post. I know some of you were really worried about me the last couple days. Don't worry ~ I'll be ok :) I've been VERY busy with Danny, I tried to keep myself occupied, and with all the doc appt lately I haven't alot of time to chat. I just needed to zone for awhile! Thanks for all your support guys....I don't know how I would do it some days ~


ANewKindOfPerfect said...

Seriously, you deserve a break! I hope that your scans show it's nothing serious. I'm dealing with my own medical issues, and it's so hard to make time for them. It takes all our energy to be Mom, we don't have enough for anything else sometimes!

I hope that Danny's discomfort eases up. I wish he could somehow tell you what was going on!

Ann said...

Sorry to hear that you have so much on your plate. I hope the news from your biopsy is nothing but good news. You definitely deserve a break.