I'M CRUSHED

I really started today off on a good note. I held my head high thinking I was doing the right thing and sending Avrianna to public schools. No matter how much I really wanted to home school I knew that right now I might not be able to give her what she needs. So off to school we went today. She was so excited! We went alil early so I could get her to her class room and get some of the ins n outs of the place. I was really feeling good about my decision when I left the building, alone. I felt she would get what I couldn't give her right now. I didn't even cry..... well maybe just alil.

I came home to a bunch of running around with my head cut off. I am really getting sick of running here, there and everywhere once I'm at home. This moving is getting OLD really fast. Once it's done it will be so nice, but right now I'm not liking it at all. I feel as if I'm running around in circles but not getting much done. UGH!

I finally had to just tell myself, ENOUGH and I gave lil man shower. THANK GOD, Michael was still here as the great lounge idea in the shower was a flop. It was so unsafe for lil man. I just sat and cried afterwards! I'm frustrated........I hate the fact I just can't pick up my baby boy and DO IT. I have to rely on slower equipment to help. Then when we put something in to "help" me out with him it doesn't work and makes it even more difficult. I'm so sad about it all. Why does he have to grow up and why can't I just do it anymore? All very good questions but I already know the answers, it's just hard for me to except. It didn't help that Avrianna had school today as it's another reminder that I can't do it. I did leave a message with my neurologist today to see if the MS symptoms I'm having warrant more treatment or to just ride them out, but I haven't heard back from them yet.

About 15 minutes after I got home from picking Avrianna up from school, well following the school bus...as she wanted to try the bus route for the ride home, I get a phone call from the principal already. Are you kidding me? Well it seems they are concerned that Avrianna is 6 and in 2nd grade already. They wanted me to drop her back to 1st grade because of her age. SERIOUSLY? She missed the cut off by only a month and half people. And she is smarter then some of the 3rd graders out there. Give her a chance to show you what she can do before calling the first day without assessing her. I am getting mixed answers and back pedaling now once I called them on their idea and went to administration. So now I'm on guard. My faith in the system is dwindling and I'm totally upset over it. The whole reason of us starting Homeschooling was cause the lack of faith I had in the school district and now I'm already getting crap the first day. They are not showing a good case for themselves to me as of now....I hope it improves and this is all a misunderstanding. Avrianna overheard my phone conversations and is now upset as she "Doesn't want to go back to 1st grade". GREAT! I feel terrible as our first experience is well short of good. I WILL pull her from the school district and home school if they are so set about putting her in 1st. How confusing for her.....the principals idea was to pull her out and put her in 1st grade tomorrow and if she shows she needs to be in 2nd the put her back, UM NO! Why am I thinking that would be a VERY bad idea to do to her instead of them? She maybe only 6 but she is VERY smart and she is a social butterfly (so they can stop the socializing act on me for homeschooling, I didn't do to bad AT ALL). I'm so disappointed already! What's wrong with this system? Did I make the right decision? She LOVED school so pulling her out to go back to home school her would be like pulling teeth EVERYDAY. She is going to stay in 2nd grade and after the schoolwide assessment they will get back to me about how she did. I'm sure she will do great and show them all, but I'm just upset with them right now!