Tuesday, February 25, 2014


3 more days of this subzero Antarctica like days and the record of Coldest Days will be set to the 2013-14 winter.  YUCK!!!  Brutal has not even began to hit what this winter has been like.  It's so cold ...
How cold is it?
Well it's so cold I believe Hell might have frozen over!!
With this weeks temps I don't see the cold ending any time soon.  I am looking forward to a vacation to .... anywhere that it is warm.  We did manage to have 2 days that were in the mid 30's and let me tell you, here in WI we all thought that was a heat wave.  People driving with their windows down and walking around with no coats on.  There was a time when mid 30's wasn't that appealing, but now.........

I believe Danny is out of the woods for any UTI's or C Diff, but there is something that is still ailing.  He's just not himself.  He is back to either sleeping or up crabby n crying.  Man that takes a toll on everyone, to watch him be so miserable.
Yesterday, in the frigid cold, we took him to see the Dr.  Yes I brought him to see a different Dr, as Dr K is out of town AND there is a nasty cold/flu epidemic going on around here, so he obviously has us worried for me to bring him into to see someone new AND into a germ infested playhouse.  Of course nothing just jumps out at us as to what is wrong  so a large blood panel was done, and now we  WAIT!

I hate waiting!!

Not that I am looking for something to be wrong with my Lil Man, but I hope we do find something.  Something we can fix and make him feel better.   Not only has the weather this winter been brutal but Danny being sick has to be topping the charts also.  He also has an appt this Friday with urology along with a renal ultrasound to get a better game plan to Danny's newest trick of no peeing and getting UTI's.  It will be nice to see if his kidney stones have changed or moved at all, which could be a source to some of his issues.




Bragging time ~ Avrianna got straight A's once again this quarter.  2 quarters of straight A's, 6th Grade is her year, it's definitely going to be a difficult year to beat!!  I hope she continues to enjoy school and thrive academically as the years go on.   I am so PROUD of her.
Summer camp schedule that I had planned,  needed to be changed so it was back to the drawing board with different dates and some different camps that I put her in.   I guess that is the disadvantage of "planning" ahead, but if I don't have a plan I start to go alil crazy..........can you say OCD :)  I hope everything is now a go and there is no more changing needed.  Wishful thinking I know, but a girl hope.

I sit here typing this post while my brain is spinning...... I once again find myself in another MS relapse.  At least I had a couple good weeks before this one decided to come out and play.
Frustrating to say the least.
I found out yesterday that it is attacking my eyes as well, can you say pissed off!!  What the hell am I going to do if I can't see?  Seriously?  I was ok or came to terms with knowing that some day I would probably end up in a wheelchair, but my vision........
MS doesn't know I have a son that is severely hanidcapped and medically fragile, A daughter that is a social butterfly and excelling in everything that she does, and a Husband that just can't sit still.  I thought I was doing MS as well as I could, but
I was sadly wrong!
I definitely question myself in many ways with each n every blow.  Here is what I get to deal with daily.....I have an astigmatism that mimics the symptoms of my optic nerves being swollen thanks to MS.  I have hypothyroidism that mimics the symptoms of my MS.  I have MS that mimics the symptoms of my fibromyalgia.  I wonder, at each and every spot I find, if that is another melanoma, as 2 weeks ago I had 2 more moles removed and 1 of them came back with A typical cells.  That makes 7 moles in the last 1.5 years removed 1 malignant melanoma, 4 A Typical (1 needed more cell removal) and 2 that were ok.  You can say I keep the medical field very busy.
What the hell happened to me?  Why did this all happen?  WHY? WHAT? HOW COME? and the list goes on and on.  I put a smile on my face, I get up, and I fight through the day as if I am not broken.   I am broken!!  When is enough enough?  I am consumed!!
I guess with the new vision scare it has prompted me to look into other treatments and MS stories.  Do I let MS win, as I now know I can't beat this OR do I give it the fight of it's life?  Do I fight for MY LIFE?  Oddly enough the pain and the crippling effects of MS didn't have a hold on me until I found out I might lose my vision.  I will be lost without it.  I'd rather be deaf, then blind.  To not be able to see my kids and participate in all that I do with them........it's devastating!
I have the tools and the resources to try and beat this.  I've read countless testimonies of people that have improved their quality of life, but still I sit here resisting.  And it's as simple as .....
When did doing right, feel so wrong?   I've already cut out so much out of my diet.  I've worked VERY HARD to be where I am today.  But it wasn't enough :(  How much more do I "give up", how much more do I fight?
How selfish and petty, right?  How can it be that I have a problem with choosing "toxic" food over my life?  It's a difficult choice to make in today's society and food choices.  Why is that?  Could you do it?
I find it disturbing that I am ok with pumping my body full of toxins and poisons that the medical field deem therapeutic for my diagnosis' but I'm hesitant in eating healthier.  What is wrong with me?
WHAT DO I HAVE TO LOSE?  A stronger healthier body, well I can live with that.
Ironically yesterday as I was browsing through FB and I found a Tedx Talk on a woman, Dr Terry Wahls, about reversing her progressive MS just with her diet.
Guess I was in the right place at the right time.   Was this a sign?  Whatever it is I am going to roll with it.  There were many other Tedx talks with her about her life with MS.  She just wrote a book that is coming out March 13 on the Wahls Protocol about her "hunter" diet.  Going back to the old ways with only eating greens, seeds, nuts, berries, fruit, veggies, meat, and fish.  It's going to be hard work I'm not going to lie.  Especially as I have a husband that is pretty much set in his ways and a daughter who is Ms picky pants with food.  I foresee at least 2 if not 3 different meals that will have to made :(
I'm worth fighting for and I'm going to give it a try.
Wish me luck and much success!!

1 comment:

Angoraknitter said...

Picky pants and Papa HS could benefit from changes in their diet too ;) and perhaps some probiotics to encourage a healthy gut flora which is a key factor to a healthy immune system. My experience lately is if one member of the family needs a change chances are so too does the whole family...it's a team effort and if they want you around for a long time they'll get on board when they see how much better you are.