Friday, October 13, 2017

It's me NOT You ~ Sorry

Broken or lost relationships are disappointing, sad, and unfortunately a given in life.  We parted ways with another nurse recently and knowing the sadness and disappointment that I FEEL when a nurse leaves,  I can't help but sit back and wonder how does Danny feel.
Does he miss his friend? 
He is sad they left? 
Does he know they are gone? 
He has a very close trusting relationship with "his girls" and then ...... they are gone.  My heart breaks knowing his best friends no longer come around. All the love and support he had with these people just walks out the door, leave him, and most never look back.  I get it....this isn't an easy life style to be in, life happens, and priorities change.  BUT to see my son lose his "Friends" my heart cries for him.  I look at the amount of nurses we've had through the years (18 just nurses in the last 8 years, now add in the therapist and physicians) and it hits me like a ton of bricks.  I throw these strangers at him, he learns to trust and love them, and then POOF they are gone.  They are with him and caring for him and teaching him every day....I just don't understand how easy it is to turn away from it all.
My heart is broken for my sweet boy and his losses, hasn't he been through enough already, isn't his life hard enough. Then add on the loss of the people he trusted and came to love.   I'm angry I have to be put in this spot of needing help and setting him up for more heart ache .....I know I can't do it on my own, but I don't want to set him up for more heart ache and loss. 
Does he think it's something he did?
 I've been talking a lot to him the last few days that he is perfect and it's not his fault......moral of the story is
"It's me buddy, not you ~ so sorry"

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